As a Mexican transplant, the festivities around Cinco de Mayo have never resonated with me.

I’m incredibly proud of Mexico’s unlikely victory against the better-equipped—and considerably larger—French army.  But I must confess: the connection between the Battle of Puebla and the stereotypical images of sombreros, cacti, and mustaches continues to puzzle me.

And while I’ve gotten better at keeping a straight face when someone wishes me a “Happy Cinco de Mayo,” I still often find myself toggling between offering a quick history lesson or simply changing the subject. How do you gently break the news that a party in honor of a Bacchus-like figure dressed in mariachi garb is not even close to how Mexicans celebrate? More importantly, it completely misses the point.

In reality, Cinco de Mayo isn’t widely celebrated in Mexico. It’s more about observing it with  parades and essay contests. And there’s a day off (my favorite part). Don’t get me wrong—I’m all for celebration, but this holiday is not Mexico’s Independence Day. And Mexico’s cultural contributions can’t—and shouldn’t—be reduced to a handful of clichés.

So, if you’re planning to throw a big Cinco de Mayo party, here are cinco things to know:

1. Cinco de Mayo commemorates Mexico’s unlikely victory over Napoleon’s French army at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862.

2. Puebla is the Mexican state where you’ll find one of our finest culinary exports: mole poblano. Some of Mexico’s most iconic dishes were born in Puebla and its convents.

3. The victory was short-lived. Napoleon regrouped and returned two years later to conquer Mexico. Ironically, that occupation brought lasting French influence to Mexican cuisine.

4. Mexicans mark the occasion with parades, reenactments, and  a day off from school and work.

5. It’s not customary to say “Happy Cinco de Mayo.” In fact, we typically don’t say anything at all.

And if you ask me? I’d still rather just get the day off.